Call of the Mild/Script

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Cold Open
TBA

At the Gym

 * (The gym, Chuck & Dil are on the rope)
 * Gym Coach: Move it, you slugs!
 * (As Chuck & Dil try to climb the rope, they slip and land on the mat with sore hands)
 * Dil: (in pain) Rope burns!
 * Gym Coach: (whistles and turns to Tommy) NEXT!!!
 * (Tommy tries to climb the rope, and for a few seconds, he breaks wind. The others except the gym coach laugh at him and call him feeble)
 * (At the showers)
 * Dil: See here? Deltoids, pectoids, adenoids, asteroids! (his towel skirt falls off, showing his butt and everyone laughs) I've got em all!
 * Chuck: Yeah, but you ain't a real man till you got this! (shows Dil his armpit fuzz)
 * Dil: Woah, run for your lives!
 * Chuck: Prepare to die! (chases them with his armpit fuzz)
 * (Tommy strokes his hairless armpit)

Ancient Inuit Manhood Test

 * (At Mad Cossacks)
 * Tommy: Not even peach fuzz. I don't get it. I must've been sick the day they passed out the manly genes.
 * Yvon: Tommy, my friend, why so glum? (pulls out a big razor and shaves his stubble)
 * Tommy: I don't wanna talk about it.